1. Isn't part of the reason that a man wants to be a bodybuilder because he wants the rest of the world to think he's a badass? Because any badass points you may earn by being a bodybuilder (which are basically nil to begin with) are completely lost (and then some) by having these stickers on any car your family owns. In badass points, you are in the red, my friend.
2. That early '90s hairstyle. You look like Vanilla Ice. Or DJ Jazzy Jeff.
3. Your hands that are made of play dough.
4. The fact that you dress your sticker kid in a sticker Superman shirt. Between your sticker six-pack and his superhero attire, this leads me to believe that you both have confidence issues that you're overcompensating for. Do I smell a little Short Man Syndrome in this family?
5. The way that you may as well have just left your wife's and dog's stickers off the car altogether. If you were at a store that sold stickers as detailed as a bodybuilder dad and a superman-shirt-wearing son, you could have come up with something better than a boring, nondescript mom and dog. Dick.
The good news for you, jerk Dad, is that these sticker families are getting more and more complex and detailed every day. So, sooner or later, I'm sure someone will make a steroid needle sticker accessory to go along with that sweet sticker of your awesome body. Make sure to keep your boring wife on the lookout for it.
I bet the dad is horribly overweight and the mom bought that as a cruel joke.
ReplyDeleteOooooohhhh! Short guy syndrome and a steroid needle sticker? good suggestions. But the wife must be some type of professional, eh? She's got a power briefcase because if that is a purse, she needs some fashion consulting!
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