A Family And An Overshare

We all have a friend who is overshares.  The one who gives a few too many details about everything and who tells unsolicited, deeply personal stories about their life.  I'd say this sticker family is the equivalent to that friend.

I am truly sorry that these people had four miscarriages; I'm sure that was difficult and they were understandably upset.  However...I'm not sure it was necessary to put four dead cloud babies on the back of their car, floating above the heads of both parents and all twelve living children. I feel comfortable saying that that goes beyond creepy and borders on seriously inappropriate.

I guess we can all count it as a win that the four cloud babies aren't labeled with names so as not to haunt our dreams worse than they already will be.

PS: Is anyone else seeing that they have a kid named Vron?

A Family That's Cooler Than You

I bet Mom just instagram-ed an artsy photo of her vegan lunch while Dad tweeted the details of their afternoon hike from their matching iPhones. I bet they're all wearing Toms and authentically worn-in jeans.  I bet the youngest one is composing a symphony on the virtual keyboard of their iPad's piano app while riding in the back seat. I bet the older sibling is posting some deep junior high truths (probably in the form of song lyrics) on Facebook from his WiFi-enabled iPod.  I bet their day was so much more "epic" than yours. I bet Justin Long hangs out at their house in his Converse sneakers with his hands in his pockets, spewing random facts about why Macs are better than PCs.  I bet it took them less than a minute to track down and purchase this sticker family on amazon.com.  I bet they are so consumed with  having their noses stuck in electronics that they haven't sat down to dinner as a family in six months.

I bet they are so much cooler than you.

A Family in Cartoon World

I'm so sad to be the one to tell you that the sticker family trend has officially gone beyond real life and has penetrated cartoons, too.  It was bad enough that it went beyond America all the way to Switzerland, but now our fantasy worlds aren't even safe anymore.

My awesome uncle (who deserves a shout out for always sending me new material and contributing heavily to the photos in this blog) sent me this cartoon.  When I saw it, the only emotion I had was sadness.  Sad that these exist.  Sad that they are prevalent enough that Jim Davis drew one that showed up in the Sunday funnies.  Sad that Jon Arbuckle is a big enough nerd to put one on his car.  And really, really sad for Odie that Garfield peeled him off the window and kicked him right off the car. What a jerk.

Do you think the clan of Family Circus has one, too?!

A Family (Times Eleven) And Some Group Snark

Each of these eleven families annoys me in such a similar way that I decided to just post them together for group snark.  It's like group therapy, but for our benefit instead of theirs.

So, here are the best of the best (or the worst of the worst? or the best of the worst?) of people with way too many kids and/or pets.  Some families tell us each member's name, and some feel the need to clarify that yes, in fact, they really DID have that many kids.  Some of them are lined neatly in a row, while others are out of the usual order.

Since I'm not a parent, I can't say for certain what might motivate someone to have this many children or keep this many pets in one house.  Unless you own a farm and need free labor, it seems like a serious drain on your resources and sanity.  Especially the family above who has five children, yet has more cats than kids...that just seems like an ill-advised plan to me. It'd be an unending job of cleaning up others beings' poop for at least 15 straight years. Who would willingly do that? But I digress...

Enjoy these eleven photos of people with absolutely no free time or discretionary income, and be glad you're you and not them.

A Family And A New Trend

NEW TREND ALERT!

This was the first one I was able to catch, but these have started popping up all over my area.  Shadowy figures - hockey players in this case, but I have also seen baseball players and ballerinas - are beginning to mix in with traditional sticker families.

Terrible? Yes. Ugly?  Definitely. Infuriate me as much as sticker families?  Absolutely.

Are these really the future? My gut says no, mostly because you can't equip a shadowy figure with the same caliber of accessories as you can a traditional sticker person.  Mom's shopping bags would just look like blobs, and a child with an equestrian hobby would end up looking like a strange centaur silhouette.  We'll see where this goes, but I'm hoping it dies quickly. I can only handle one silly car fad at a time.

Also...I just want to point out that I was also able to catch a dude wearing pajamas and a trench coat in the background. Photo timing level: expert.

A Family Of Guns (And A Pep Talk)

When a friend of mine from Johnson City, Tennessee sent me the top picture, she said, "Only in Tennessee would you see a family of guns!"  I thought she was right until, in my very own neighborhood in suburban Columbus, Ohio, I stumbled upon this double whammy of guns and sticker family hatred.

Even though the bottom picture isn't an actual family, some company somewhere still convinced this person to purchase these stickers and put them on their car.  

We are losing this fight, people. Rear windshield stickers are taking over the world. Even those who supposedly hate these stickers are buying them and proudly displaying them. Is there hope yet? Only time will tell how long people will continue to make these questionable decisions. I promise you, there are better ways to let others know you have a spouse with a job, children with hobbies, and pets who have died.  Stay strong, friends. Together, we are bigger than this regrettable trend.

A Family And A Murderer

It's not exactly a sticker family; it's not exactly even stickers.  It looks like that white medical tape you use to wrap around popsicle sticks when you break your finger, cut into shapes.  If you look closely at the wheels and head on the bicyclist, it looks like a preschooler cut them out with blunt-tipped scissors. This person actually put a legitimate amount of work into looking like a psycho murderer.


Dear Minivan Owner,

So what you would like us to know is that you regularly take out bicyclists and handicapped people with your minivan?  You just run them over?  That's cool.  Yeah, it's totally normal to kill people with your giant car who happen to be riding smaller means of transportation or are disabled. Blatant advertisements of vehicular manslaughter are totally normal.

Also, we can all still see that the bottom one was a handicapped person, even though you clearly got your fill of murdering them after a mere three kills. Do you park in their parking spots, too, ya jerk?

Might I suggest a few rounds of intensive shock therapy or walking into oncoming traffic (perhaps a fleet of minivans?) to cure your hatred of bicycles, wheelchairs, and their owners/riders?

xo
Carrie